
Cooterdoodle breaks down her buys, sells and holds after the 2026 NFL free agency period has mostly come to a close.

Things can (and will) change after the NFL Draft. But that doesn't mean we can't make assessments right now.
Players have moved teams this offseason, causing a massive ripple effect. Let's see how it shook out.
You’re telling me Jaylen Waddle no longer has to share time with Tyreek Hill and he’s got an upgrade at QB?! Sign me up, because Bo Nix's first two seasons are eerily similar.
Now, Denver boosts their WR corps with Waddle, who flashed a couple of top-10 WR finishes of his own last season, ending the year 64-910-6. It's an upgrade for Denver. It’s an upgrade for Waddle. As Lloyd Christmas would say: “I like it. I like it ALOT.”
Old man leaves home for the first time, escaping the constraints of his same-as-always lifestyle. Much like the retired balloon salesman from Up, Mike Evans is leaving home for the first time in his career.
Speculation as to "why" aside, we know that the Bucs offered Evans more money and he still chose to venture to San Fran anyway (Oof). With eleven 1,000-yard seasons under his belt, Evans looks to do it again. Sure, he's coming off a season-ending injury, but he no longer has to share targets with Chris Godwin, Emeka Egbuka, Cade Otton and Bucky Irving. Let the ageists fade him.
His rookie season wasn't "stellar". But even with Travis Etienne ("ay-chan", keep up) in Jacksonville, Bhayshul Tuten still managed to carve a role at the goal line, racking up 7 total TDs. With Etienne now in New Orleans, Tuten's stepping up into the Jags' spotlight. While Chris Rodriguez will certainly play a part on offense, there's no denying the enormous shoes that Etienne has left behind in Jacksonville. And it's Tutens' job to fill them.
I'm selling Malik Willis shares unless I see Miami finding a way to help him in the draft. Waddle? Gone. Hill? Gone. $175M of Miami's sweet, sweet cash? Dead and gone.
The Dolphins have seven picks in the first three rounds of 2026. If they don't hone in on a WR at 1.11 or 1.30 - I'm so out of here. There are plenty of options on the big board in Round 1.
Make something happen, Miami.
I like the guy. I do. But when you only managed 456 yards and 1 TD while fighting for touches against Kareem Hunt in 2025 … I don’t see brighter days ahead. Not with Jahmyr Gibbs as your new team’s RB1. We’re talking 240+ touches, Gibbs. We’re talking 94 receptions, Gibbs. Sorry, Isiah Pacheco. It’s Gibbs’ world, and you’re just livin’ in it.
EEEEYUCK.
If the Texans beef up their O-line in the draft, throw this bad boy up top into the "buy" column. But for now, I can't talk about wishes and dreams. And HOU ranked 22nd in rushing yards per game in 2025. Not great. But this is a fantastic move by the Texans. Through seven seasons, David Montgomery logged 1,000+ rushing/receiving yards in six (!) of them. And that was despite Gibbs' bajillion yards and gajillion TDs in Detroit. Monty has the chops to hold down the RB1 stop in Texas; he just needs some support to do it. But given the downgrade on team/offense, it doesn't move any needles for me, so I'm holdin'.
We all know that song about the London Bridge, but if it's announced that Michael Penix Jr. is not ready to go Week 1, we could see Drake London's ADP falling. Tua Tagovailoa taking the start isn't going to get any fantasy managers' juices flowin'. We did see London have several WR1 finishes in 2025 when Penix was healthy. And with ATL's WR room being relatively bare at this point, we could easily see more in the future. But I'm just not excited about the move with Tua and what that might mean about Penix's availability at the start of the season. Good WR. Murky situation. Hold.
If you checked my body, you'd find scars from all the times Kyler Murray has burned me over the years. I could talk about the games where he managed only 4 fantasy points. But I won't. Today, I'm hopeful. Murray was brought into MIN as a true threat to J.J. McCarthy's ego. If you look back at Murray’s most recent fully-played season (2024), the stats ain't so bad: 4,400 total yards and 26 total TDs. He throws. He runs. He might just be able to pull this off. Oh, and Murray, if you're listening … It'd be pretty cool if Justin Jefferson could log more than two f*cking TDs this year.
Here are three facts for ya: Travis Kelce is not retiring. He finished TE6 in PPR last season. And he's Fantasy Life's consensus TE12 for 2026. While it's not yet certain if Kelce's buddy Patrick Mahomes will start the season, Kelce has proven he will always have a role in this offense. The Chiefs have upgraded their run game in SB LX MVP Kenneth Walker. But with a looming Rashee Rice suspension, Kelce might be a necessity on offense. It's not exciting, but as a late-round TE, you could do worse.
